So, here are the photos I mentioned last week.
The day before spring break I was gifted with some Sour Patch Kids Ladders, otherwise known as the human centipede of candy. They were delightfully horrifying in their grotesque deliciousness.
That same day, upon finally coming home after a long, long last day before spring break, I doffed the monkey suit of the average American teacher and threw on a Shakespeare t-shirt (Hamlet’s soliloquy in the shape of a skull, nooch), my fave sweater, and these amazing pajama pants. What’s that you say? You can’t see my legs? Of course you can’t, my pants are camouflage!
My first full day of spring break began with a trip to the gym where I did nearly nothing while my daughter flipped and flopped around so that I was like to have a heart attack (had I not learned long ago not to watch for too long).
Day #2 saw me try my hand at omelet cooking. It’s taste, of peppers, turkey, spinach, Tabasco, and (naturally) egg was far superior to it appearance.
Some have argued that spring break cannot officially begin until Monday. I say those who make such outlandish claims are fools. However, I wondered on down to Hannibal, MO this day where I was gifted with a tenderloin as big as my head and root beer that was almost as delectable as regular beer.
There is a theme running through Hannibal that would seem extreme anywhere else. I like to think Mark Twain would be pleased that this hotel is the place where my mother decided to stay with my father when they were teenagers in love.
Returning home to Omaha on the fifth day of my spring break might have been a harrowing experience had I decided to leave Hannibal a few hours later. As it was, I just beat one of the first spring storms of the season home. This was the ominous sky that night shortly after I was tucked safely away in my recliner in the basement rec room.
A day of relaxing followed my sojourn to Mark Twain’s hometown. It ended with an ominous message from my daughter. “These rocks are magic,” she said. “Magic.” I had to refrain from touching them but I figured a photo to memorialize these auspicious stones was in order.
On Day #7 I began to realize I should probably start being productive. The below image is my attempt at that. I’m not going to lie to you fine readers. I completed one of these tasks . . . .
After the insanity that was an attempt at work on the previous day, I realized I needed a bit more relaxation. Therefore, I rented six films and over the course of the final weekend of spring break 2015, watched them all. If you’re curious, they were all pretty good and included The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part #1, Annie, Evil Dead, John Wick, Cloud Atlas, and Lucy.
Finally, on the ninth and final day of spring break I completed my relaxation by hanging out (still on my recliner in case you were wondering) with this guy. Yes, he is almost as handsome as me.
I didn’t learn much.
It was great.