As Black Friday stares at us from behind a Thanksgiving girth, I am forced to think of something more fun than I was thinking of last week: buying stuff. I know you are too. Come on, we all are! It’s the American way. So let me remind you of three excellent ways to spend your money this holiday season.
- Donate it. Find a charity. Study that charity. If you think it is great, make sure your donation won’t line the pockets of some president or something. Then donate. It sounds cheesy, but it makes you feel good. Truly.
- Buy somebody else something. Might I make a few recommendations?
- Lit Pills. These are the coolest things ever. I’m going to purchase a few more and so should you. Which ones do I want? I want them all.
- Alias. This is the comic book that spawned the new Netflix series. If you think the television version of Jessica Jones has seen some shit, wait until you read about the comic book version.
- The Meaning of Names. One of the best books ever written by one of the best people ever.
- The Do-Right. If early 1920s Nebraska familial drama isn’t your bag, man, how about this subtle detective novel that I, for one, couldn’t put down? It’s also written by one of the best people ever.
- Star Wars Episodes I-VI. If you haven’t watched these yet, get with the zeitgeist, kids. Also, it’s 2015, better get it on the blu-ray.
- Tribe One. Seriously, anything by this guy. It’s Nerdcore at its finest. As an added bonus, he gives away some cuts that are basically epic.
- Hamilton. If you don’t know what this is, I only have one question for you. Where the hell have you been? If you can’t go see the show (like me), at least get the soundtrack. It’s . . . I’m gonna say it . . . epic.
- Funny T-shirts. Oh my God, there are so many places on the Internet to get them. I just gave you one link.
- Buy yourself something. Hell, it’s been a rough year. You deserve it.
I want you to notice how I didn’t say anything about saving it. Come on guys, it’s the holidays!